Why I Never Take Children in the TARDIS
by magicheese
Summary: Clara, Artie and Angie are at home, waiting for The Doctor, and Clara finds out why it was a bad idea to take children in the TARDIS. Warning: Crack and Fluffy bunnies!


**Hi! I decided to write this because I was in a ****_very _****random mood-so be prepared for utter randomness! :) **

**Also-Thanks for reading! Oh and- is this crack? I'm pretty sure this qualifies as crack - (can someone tell me please!)**

**GERONIMO **

* * *

Clara looked out the window, checking yet again for the blue box. He would be here any minute. Maybe she should try to make a soufflé again?  
'Hey? Do you think i should make a soufflé again guys?' she asked Artie and Angie.  
Angie looked up from her laptop sighing. 'Seriously? Clara- last time you tried to make a soufflé you forgot to crack the eggs before putting them in the mix, _then_ you ate half the mix before baking it!'  
Clara considered and nodded, taking a sip of her tea.  
'What are you doinh Artie?' asked Clara  
Artie looked up from his colouring and smiled, ' I'm drawing the time vortex!'  
'The time vortex?'  
'Yeah' he said, nodding vigorously, 'you know when the TARDIS crashes around when we travel through time? We have to go to _some_ in-between place!'  
'Yes, but know one knows what it looks like, do they?' said Clara.  
'That's why I'm drawing it!'  
Clara smiled and nodded and was about to say something when Angie butted in.  
'Actually, _loads_ of people know what the time vortex looks like, they see it at the beginning of every episode, you thick heads.'  
Artie and Clara looked confused.  
'What?'  
They waited expectantly at Angie to explain the nonsense she had just spouted.  
'Why are you looking at me like that?' she said, going back to her laptop.  
Clara and Artie shook their heads and carried on with what they where doing.

'_Fineshed_!' Artie shouted enthusiastically, holding up his drawing for Clara to see.

It looked vaguely like a field, with bright green grass, inhabited by dozens of overly fluffy pink bunnies. Their was a scribbly rainbow across the sky, a bright yellow sun in the corner and blobbly clouds in the sky. On top of a cloud was something that looked vaguely like the TARDIS.  
'That's good Artie- but I thought you were drawing the time vortex?'  
'I did!' said Artie.  
Clara raised her eyebrows, 'right... Well it's brilliant!'  
Artie smiled happily and put the drawing down.  
'What did you do at school today then?' asked Clara  
'Nothing,' replied Artie- Angie said nothing.  
'Nothing?'  
'Oh- actually-we got given our school reports!' said Artie, 'you can see!,' he rummaged around in his school bag and pulled out a small blue folder with his school and name on it.  
Clara took it and began leafing through.

_Maths- nothing much had changed, good and focused_  
_English- spelling needs more work, but Artie needs to vary stories as he only writes about time traveling in a blue box_  
_History- imaginative, but Artie needs to focus more as he claims he can learn more if 'the Doctor' shows him our lessons with his 'time machine'_  
_Geography- needs to focus more in lessons and stop using the excuse 'but we need to learn universal Geography'_  
_Science- very good, although 'space science' is not real_  
_Art- interesting, Artie is very fond of fluffy bunnies_  
_French- I'm amazed by Artie's outstanding improvement. He now seems fluent in the language and is far more talented at languages than anyone I've ever seen._

Clara read Artie's French report again; usually he was rubbish at languages! 'Artie?' she asked, 'well done on your French, but when did you become so good all of a sudden?'  
Artie looked up and smiled, 'It's all in English now Clara!' and went back to his detailed colouring of a space-bunny.  
Clara looked confused- now Artie and Angie we're both talking craziness! She wrapped her hands around her mug and tried to make sense of when Artie had just said.  
Her gaze fell across Artie's _unique_ drawing of the time vortex and realisation flooded over her features.  
The TARDIS could translate any language.  
Clara took a long gulp of her tea- draining the mug and looked out the window where she saw the deep blue of the TARDIS in the garden.  
A few seconds later the door bell rang and Artie and Angie shouted 'Doctor!'  
Clara put her mug down and walked to the door, opening it with a frown on her face.  
The Doctor stood there grinning like a mad man, giggling slightly with a huge, pink, overly fluffy bunny under his arm.  
Clara looked at the bunny and back at the Doctors mischievous face. '_What_ is that?'  
'A present for Artie! I got Angie a new phone a while ago and realised it would be unfair if I din't get Artie anything, and I know how much he likes pink overly fluffy bunnies; so I thought- _I know_-and I went to Bunnavalva a got him one!' he explained without taking a breath.  
Clara rolled her eyes, 'Mister, your in big trouble, come on I have to show you something,' and she grabbed The Doctor's free hand and dragged him and the bunny through the door and to the school report.  
'Read this,' she said, thrusting the blue folder at the very confused Doctor, 'French.'  
The Doctor casually threw the bunny over to Artie who grabbed it and begun screaming with excitement. He ran threw the room and up the stairs, holding the squirming bunny.  
The Doctor read Artie's French report.  
'Ah...' he said putting it down, 'I knew there was a reason I never take children in the TARDIS.'


End file.
